"To me, an ordinary day means I put on a Coltrane record, pour myself a tall glass of cabernet, and wait for Katie Siegel to call and yell at me about something I haven't done yet (but definitely should have)."
"I hate most prequels, sequels, reboots, and remakes. They typically ruin the magic of the original piece and make me pretty jaded about it, actually. But I’m also a cynical, pretentious, jaded asshat, so what do I know."
"There’s a number of better things to do with your time on a Saturday night than watch Saturday Night. I could write whole other listicle on this, but instead, I’m going to defer this post to be about the far superior Rutgers Night Live and wait until I sell out and work for Buzzfeed to do that."